Residual Juice of My Today's Documentation

Problems to take care of:

-Bills: rent, catch up on utilities, debt collections (phone, TV, power, impound fee, credit card, taxes [almost done! ☺] loans, tickets).
Solutions: pay rent with next checks Alex will move in soon, when that happens you will have more money to take care of bills!

-Car: Battery, Ownership, Insurance, Tickets
Solutions: batteries are cheap, insurance after ticket, tickets in bills area of problems

-Grad School: Its going to be expensive, want to do more work for my portfolio with the new ideas, depressed and starting to feel like my art is not good enough, bills are taking away from productive energy
Solutions: Find a program to pay for you, Do more work especially when Alex is moving in and also, you have been doing work a lot with Alex and the inLimen project… so don’t underestimate what you’ve been doing; you’re art is good, in fact its better than a lot of stuff that ends up in galleries sometimes, you just need to focus your effort into something more solid through more examples, keep making more art; once you have a schedule to pay bills with and you are organized, a lot of this frustration will just go away. ABANDON YOURSELF TO YOUR WORK.

-I’m going to die one day: Death is starting to feel like a big restriction on my life!!! The more I realize its capacity, the more it becomes like walls in a room where you are growing too big for. You want to be able to do more than you have time left to do. The confining aspect of it makes me feel lonely at times. When others die it is like the room they had in this space became to confining, its like we’re all in that same room and then some people grow too big for it and you don’t see them in that space again because of it!
Solution: You can say all you want to think about a different perspective with which you can see dying with, but its just true. You are just going to die. You are not alone in thinking about this either because everyone is going to die. Everyone has to deal with this no matter who you are, no one is better than someone else in this way because no one can avoid it… its kind of an interesting halt upon the importance of the individual. It may be due to this that I feel an abrupt shift to the importance of the group of us sometimes (i.e. everything that exists along side me). The importance of the self seems to be better utilized if the effort is shifted to the importance of what is to come, who is to come and what you can do for those coming before you are gone. It’s the only thing that matters since the situation is futile.